um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
