I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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