this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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