bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
