No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
