But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
