saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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