so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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