i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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