dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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