woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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