my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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