Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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