I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
