Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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