it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
