I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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