i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Farmville is her only friend.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
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