the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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