If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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