fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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