I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
