Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
