I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
