I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
