hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
