Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
