I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
