I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
