id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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