found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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