I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
