Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
