i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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