The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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