Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
