I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
