My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
