You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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