Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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