i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
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At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
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I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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