That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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