I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
