He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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