u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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