I'm lost and stupid without you.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
