i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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