I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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