So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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