32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
