I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
