hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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