i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
