why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
