Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
