well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
