Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
party gras won. party gras always wins.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
