Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
