There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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