I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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