hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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