Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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