its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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